random thoughts

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Her motto in life is "laughter is the best medicine", and so she lives dangerously, giggling to herself as she sits directly on public toilet seats.
"There is one reason I don't really like him sleeping with other women," she said, "because it takes away my sexual power. And that is one of the few powers women have."

Friday, October 29, 2004

I had a funny idea I was going to write here last night, but it was really late so I decided I would just write it in the morning. Now I can't remember it. Oh well, it's the thought that counts, right?

Wisdom

The good thing about getting wisdom teeth removed is that there is always an excuse for anything stupid said. "Gimme a break, I just had huge chunks of wisdom removed from my head."
Also, at the end of each day you can play "name that piece of food".

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Yes, he said, he'd want children someday. But only on certain conditions, only if they were deaf, mute and never moved. Ah, how beautiful childhood is.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I bet that whoever first invented tampons had a real difficult time convincing people that it was a good idea. "We put it where?"
Robert Tampon, we salute you.

Monday, October 25, 2004

I believe in karma, if only for the simple fact that I can't wait to come back as a llama. And when I do, watch yourself.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

She really liked him, maybe loved him she thought.
She thought about him, pictured their life together.
Then it all came crashing down,
at that typical "uh oh" moment every relationship has,
when he started talking.

Paper writing

The problem with writing papers late at night is that I lose a sense of reality and start to think that the TA who reads my paper will enjoy my humor as much as I do.
This becomes an issue when I title one of the sections of my paper for intro to world systems, "Domesticate this, bitch". Maybe I'll get extra points for creativity.
Maybe that is what second drafts are for.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Cereal

Today I overheard a lady on her cell phone end the conversation with "Cheerio". It made me happy until I realized that she wasn't even British.
And what makes Cheerios so special that they get to become part of everyday language? I only even like them when they are honey nut, so take that.
I hearby declare that any cereal can be adopted into our daily vocabulary.
Some of them are already there and we don't even realize.
Like Trix: "Oh yea, you dated her until she started turning Trix."
From now on instead of goodbye, I will use a different cereal name.
"Hey, see you later, I have to go-- Quaker Oat Squares."

Dictatorship

If, and by if I mean when, I become a dictator of a random country, my first order will be to make it law for me to be the official mixed chocolate taster, as a service to the people. How else will they know which square chocolate is the cararmel one? Honestly. Some people.


There comes a time in every life when one must realize that there is more to existence than stickers. And a sad day it is.


The thing about people is what? Who ARE you?


One day the squirrels will take over. One day. Okay, maybe a day and half. The Andes weren't built in a week you know.


Do you see my point? Ever? What about if you squint real hard?

Sunday, October 10, 2004

The Problem with Evolution

We have destoyed evolution by letting people live that really wouldn't have if survival were as competitive and selective as it used to be "back in the day".
The fact that they have to put warnings on poison that say "don't consume this" is evidence of this. If they didn't warn people of that, then the people who are stupid enough to eat poisonous things would slowly be edited out of the evolution of the species.
If we were allowed to randomly edit people out of evolution the way our ancestors did (ie clubs and big rocks), then I think those people who eavesdrop conversations and laugh even when they're not in them would not exist today.
But then again, neither would very small dogs who need to wear sweaters, and the world would be a much sadder place without them.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Gender roles?

In social psychology we learned about how men and women have different learned social roles. I always knew this, but for some reason it got me thinking. The professor said that women learn more one on one interactions and men learn more group interactions, like team sports. I wonder what else we are supposed to learn by gender, because I think I missed out on some of it.
I think that in general girls are taught to listen and laugh, and guys are taught that they are supposed to be the amusing funny ones. This is the lesson I might have be sick for, because I pretty much amuse myself. Also I have a really hard time with the laugh-when-things-aren't-funny thing. For some strange reason I was taught to laugh when things are funny. Weird.
I wonder what other lessons I missed. Perhaps the fake kindness one too.

And the beat goes on

I haven't posted in a while, because I've had things to do, but now that I have many many more things to do, I will instead waste time posting random thoughts. And the beat goes on. That makes me feel secure, to know that at least in all the chaos of the world, the beat goes on.
Tonight is the debate between the vice presidents. Watching the presidential debate didn't make me feel hopeful in any way, with any candidate though. The only real thing that productively comes out of watching the debates is that I understand the jokes on the Daily Show. Jon Stewart for President 2004.
The thing about presidential discussion on a college campus is that there is very little opportunity for discussion, since anyone who is not a Democrat is ridiculously outnumbered, even though that rarely shuts them up. The point is though, that I made one comment not that supportive of Kerry and was immediately silenced. Even though I was right.
I hold firm in my belief that Bush would be a cool uncle. Think of it-- he'd take me to lots of sports games, he could give me other countries plus also, imagine all the crazy party stories he has from his coke days. Awesome.
 
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