random thoughts

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Did you know apple seeds contain cyanide?
Turns out, Snow White's stepmother was falsely accused and she should be absolved.
Maybe her real mother should have taught her how to eat apples.
Why is it weird to eat food that just fell out of your mouth? You were just eating it a second ago.
You know what are as different as night and day?
See above.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sometimes, when I'm not feeling productive enough, I will write "write to do-list" on my to-do list just to have something to cross off. And then take a break.
I can tell you, as a psych major, that people just walking around shouting at the top of their lungs seem pretty crazy.
People who don't curse annoy the shishkabob outta me.
Whoever invented gummy vitamins understood a lot about me.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

In relationships, sometime you fight and you worry that it will end everything and then you realize that you are stronger for having gotten through it and love each other more.
And that is how I feel about my favorite glass flowered lamp, having survived today's traumatic fall. I love you more because I know more than ever how perfect you are for me-- beautiful and nearly unbreakable.
The saying "starts things off with a bang" sounds more fun than it is, especially when it involves first thing in the morning, your favorite lamp, and not on purpose.
Some definitions

Work party = like a real party, but less fun.
Work friends = see above.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Is there a job that involves baking when I feel like it, making collages for people I like and wandering around in warm weather?
This is America. There must be.
Starting to learn sign language, I'm worried that when I forget a word I might just act it out and say something offensive.
Maybe it is mostly charades and I already speak it fluently.
There's something about looking up previous presidents of the board of trustees to see whether or not they are still alive that makes me feel that there must be more to life than this.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Is it a bad sign that you trash talk the other players during computer hearts?
Oh, Kathy, I'm sorry-- did you think you shot the moon? Suck on that.
Sometimes I wonder why I think of the majority of my "colleagues" (said in British high brow accent) as mother figures instead of professional peers. Then I realize it's because
1) their children are my age or older
2) one of my office neighbors sometimes addresses me as "kiddo" and the other when she needs me to repeat things says, "what's that, baby?"

Friday, February 06, 2009

I know they say that the clothes make the (wo)man, and it's important to give off a certain image of professionalism and whatever, but I'd rather portray that I am a person who likes to wear jeans.

Monday, February 02, 2009

It has been a rough losing year for Arizonans, especially the Republican gay football fan ones.
You know that winter is starting to get to you when: you wonder how many sleeping people on the subway it would take until you find one that would let you nap with your head on their shoulder.
Listen-- if your dog could probably get beat up by a squirrel, maybe you shouldn't walk it in public.
Little known fact: Vitamin C is a gateway vitamin.
The subway challenges the balance between liking to sit down on a moving train and disliking being very close to people talking to themselves.
Crazy people are more fun if you imagine them as dolls that say random stuff when you pull a string.
I hope I never call people "kiddo." Especially at work.
Is there a prank like when people put detergent in fountains that involves massive amounts of oatmeal in a hot tub?
And if not, why?
Turns out that even though I generally like surprises, I do not like when you see someone where you don't expect a person to be. But he is like hey, just sitting where a pay phone should be.
 
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