Brevity is. 

The key to inventing ingenius things is to fix the downfall of an already genius invention.
For example: the cinnamon roll.
Brilliant invention, but once you eat it unwrapping layer by layer, there is nothing in the middle.
Ingeniusness: add a surprise at the end.
Cinnamon roll with milk dud in the middle = ingenius.
TRADEMARK.

You know what they say-- people with giant boxes shouldn't run down stairs.
Because you won't know which of us shoved you.

Maybe I need to take my new Mac laptop to the Apple store to learn more about it since the most exciting thing it does is turn on and off in less than 10 minutes, unlike my previous computer. Also, much shinier.

When little kids can't wait to grow up, they rarely factor in laundry, groceries and assembling cabinets.

Our government should install people to monitor the population, approaching individuals and letting them know that for the benefit of society they are no longer allowed to wear this outfit or make that face. Public servants, if you will.

Apparently things don't work as well when missing a couple of greasy metal circles.
I'm not quite sure where in the fan they came from, but they are no long there.
The fan still works, still oscillates even, but now pauses dramatically during its rotation.
I guess I'm an optimist, but I like it more now that the fan appears thoughtful about its work.

You can tell I'm a hard worker because my desk is covered in sticky notes and hot chocolate mix.

Other people help me count my blessings:

1) Not named "Fanny"/last name not "Dull"
2) Average sized skull
3) Don't talk like a robot unintentionally
4) Speak in pitch below dog-hearing
5) No urge to shout thoughts at passersby
6) Really good at list-making