Best pick-up line: I like your Vanilla Ice dance moves.
Made 63% more successful if he's wearing a kilt.

There are certain understood rules of decorum while riding public transit and I think these should include: do not sit next to me if you're really bad at your crossword puzzle.
It hurts.

What actually costs a dime a dozen? Not even pennies do.

Why couldn't everything have evolved so I wouldn't have to work just to continue living?
Damn you, Darwin.

If I had a cream-filled egg for every crazy person telling me about Jesus, I would be a lot happier.

Updated lost glove count: 67

How many more minutes until spring?