Most of my favorite people are dogs.

Sometimes I get upset when things don't work out with a guy, and then later can't remember his name. I guess I didn't care that much about whatshisface. No really, what the hell is his name?

Sometimes it seems like people mature as they age. Other times, doctors ask if you like-like their friend.

In a party full of future doctors, she found the one construction worker who didn't speak English.

If I had all the money in the world, that would probably mess up the economy pretty good.

Life is short-- birth, death, in the blink of an eye-- yet how significant a portion of this instant is spent doing laundry.

It's not that the T never comes, it just always leaves RIGHT before I get there.

I solved the problem of coming up with a Halloween costume. I'll tell everyone I'm dressing up as the train and then never come.

"There are two types of guys-- jerks and ones you don't know that well." -Abby, PhD

My biggest problem with Netflix is that they keep mailing me terrible movies.

Updated Netflix preferences:

Emotional Father-Son Dramas

Critically-acclaimed Goofy Comedies

If they are not trying to come up with the title of my next autobiography, I don't know who is.

Online dating breeds contempt.

I would go on the Family Feud game show with my family as long as they know ahead of time that I will not clap and shout "Good answer!" if it isn't one.

I wish I could tell guys I date about my blog so they would know how hilarious I am, but then it'd be awkward when they read about me mocking them. Life is full of hard decisions.

Sometimes I think that I am pretty cool. Other times I wear a rain poncho.