random thoughts

Monday, August 25, 2008

Yesterday on the subway someone smiled at me. And that was as strange as any of the other bizarre things I've seen in the city so far.
Thing I've learned from Subway Observing:

Pale men should not wear bright yellow.

(Most) Men should not wear spaghetti strap tank tops.
Number of rats I've seen since moving here: 6.
Cockroaches: 1.
Rats are winning.
I bought A tree grows in Brooklyn to read on the subway. But it's too heavy to carry around. So instead I will read A book sits in my room in Brooklyn which involves watching strangers until they notice or seem menacing.
The problem with job searching is that I'd rather do just about anything else. Which does not explain why I have not fully unpacked.
Why is it creepy to read over someone's shoulder on the subway? I hate social norms. And people who read too fast.
You cannot buy love. But you can buy a cheap imitation that seems a lot like it at Target. And it comes with a free travel size shampoo bottle.
Does "I respect you" count as a line?
Only if it works.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Today I saw...

a man with a parrot on his shoulder.

a homeless man fall asleep on slash cuddle with an asleep and unknowing woman.

a midget dressed as Michael Jackson sing Billy Jean.

Jews for Jesus handing out flyers that say "Are you a Shlemiel or a Shlemazel?"
Can anyone wear a shirt that says "Obama is the new black"?
You know you've watched too many episodes of Scrubs when Zach Braff's voice narrates your thoughts.
Being in New York more than a week now, I'm starting to solve the subtle mysteries of the city. For example, I was on the subway and saw what appeared to be a woman holding a bag with a shoe box in it. And on the bag it said: exposeshoes.com Expose Shoes. Just a woman who bought shoes, right? Wrong. Obviously an undercover cop. Look again: exposeshoes.com = Exposes Hoes.
I. am. a. detective.
Through watching Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs, I think I've gained insight to what being a doctor actually is like and that is: voice over narration.
Using coconut body wash makes me feel like a walking macaroon. And that is a beautiful feeling.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Moving to a new city means slowly figuring out the complicated ins and outs of daily life. Like how to lock the front door from the inside. Apparently more confusing than it seems.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

When you decide to finally unpack all your clothes onto your bed (which by the way DOES count as unpacking) make sure not to do it directly on top of your blood checker. That will only make it more difficult to find than usual.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Lesson learned from the Food Co-op #1: Not everyone should have access to the store loudspeaker.
The thing about adventure is that sometimes it happens so slowly you don't even know it's there.
If there's one thing I've learned so far while job searching, it's that I'm really bad at Hearts.

Monday, August 04, 2008

From what melon balling is, you'd think that eyeballing would be something totally different.
 
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