One problem with intermarriage is that there are less people to do nothing with on Christmas.

Fun fact: 63% of people learn a foreign language simply to talk about other people directly in front of them.

Hard Realizations:

If I want to live a long and happy life, I have to be old at some point.

It's is allegedly healthy for a person to drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Not only are you hydrated, but you get a lot of exercise back and forth from the bathroom.

"Dude, that guy is a riot."
"Oh, he's funny?"
"No, he's suddenly violent and ends with tear gas... what kind of riots have you been to?"

If you don't have anything nice to say, say it loudly to yourself and you'll get personal space on a crowded train.

Goals in the next year:

Ride on a motorcycle
Go to school
Get a job I love
Tap dance
Do laundry
Eat dinner
Continue to make lists

Sometimes it's important to set small manageable goals.

The problem with being 25 is that people really start to expect you to act like a grown up. Pshhh.

Every since I turned 25 (!) I have forgotten a lot of things and had problems using technology. And I bet next year I will only get older.

People think oh, there are millions of people in New York, so it must be really easy to meet someone.
This seems true until we begin ruling out large numbers of people:

Those of the other gender
Those who are too old/too young
Those of the wrong sexual orientation (read: this is NYC, subtract 50% of current number)
Those with significant other(s)
Those with criminal records
Those in professions that smell like meat (street vendors, butchers, etc.)
Those who would stab people over the Yankees
and Mouthbreathers.

According to my calculations, there are approximately 12 legitimate prospects somewhere in this city.

I would like to adopt identical twin Chinese girls because

1) Asian children are cuter than Other children
2) Things in pairs are cuter than things alone
3) So I can pretend they are not identical and be very offended when people can't tell them apart

Do not cross your legs in a meeting if you are wearing candy corn socks.

If we have learned one thing from Tiger Woods it is that even super models cannot keep atheltes faithful. Even atheltes from the second most boring sport.

I don't know what this means but I realized I'm the type of person who would wear sunscreen to a tanning salon.