Lately I've been suspicious that Pandora eavesdrops on my phone conversations. Very insightful music selection lately. But then again, strong women singing country songs about not taking crap is always called for.

Overheard in Grad School: signs we are all falling apart

"Next semester will be worse? Uh oh... I've already hit rock bottom."

"I am so stressed sometimes it makes me want to throw up."
"Oh yea, I haven't taken a deep breath in three days."

Signs I might be too busy/stressed out-- doing necessary things (showering, packing lunch) feels like procrastinating work I should be doing.

Eleanor Roosevelt was famous for saying: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Um, I don't remember seeing a consent form?

I can tell that I'm growing as a person because I have these "growing pains."
And by that I mean constant anxiety-produced nausea.

I wish life were like a game show and when I picked the right answer balloons fell from the sky.
Or at least there were some dinging confirmatory noise. Is that so much to ask?

My heart's a stereo and it no longer plays cassette tapes.

Seeing the reunion of long-separated socks almost brings tears to my eyes.
I may have woken up on the sensitive side of the bed this morning.

Songs take the truth and make it sound poetic:

Darling, don't give me shit
'Cause I know that you're full of it
You're full of shit
You're full of shit

-Kate Nash, The Shit Song

Class helps me remember how lucky I am:
I am so grateful for volitional control of my body.

It really puts the burnt roof of my mouth in perspective.

I'm looking for a simple and pure love that makes country songs ring true.
Also a raw and passionate love that the streets rap about.
And someone who likes to sing Barenaked Ladies all the time.

You know what they say in the jungle: a leopard can't change its shitheadedness.
Hard to argue with nature.

The one good thing about having made a bad decision that blew up in your face (just like you knew it would) is never having to wonder "What if?" There's your answer.

Every single day November through March I have the same thought: when did it get dark out?

I'm pretty sure that my stiff neck for the last week is related to stress.

I guess it's my body telling me not to be distracted and just keep looking straight ahead.

Ouch, message received.

When I write a letter to my future self, which I highly recommend (futureme.org), I wonder if the jokes will be funny when I read it later. And then I realize that of course they will because it is a very specific audience.

First dates make me realize how judgmental I am.

I cannot accept men who wear class rings.

Unless they are in high school and are also wearing a Varsity jacket.

And then, they might be too young.

Sometime it's hard to figure out what to call certain things.

If you can use paper at school and you are sometimes not at school but you still need paper, is taking it home stealing?

If a person says one thing, and does something completely different, is it changing your mind or lying?

When I am in a rejecting mood and cannot be pleased, only Pandora knows what I didn't know I was looking for.

Things I learned at the doctor:

There's nobody you can sweet talk to reduce the quantity of blood drawn.

As an adult, there's no way to be calmed down during getting your blood drawn without feeling both reassured and patronized.

Signs grad school has reached a point of extreme stress:

- came home to realize I had left the freezer door open ALL DAY
- continually referred to events happening on "Thursday" until someone pointed out that Thursday = tomorrow
- realized I feel relieved to be leaving school early only to go to the diabetes doctor
- am not the only who wonders how significantly I'd have to injure myself to get a few days off

It's time for Thanksgiving break. I am thankful for national holidays.

The current economic situation finally explained:
"Your mouth is writing checks that your ass can't cash."

There's something about Sunday evenings that just makes me want to throw up.

New easy-to-follow diet plan: constant anxiety to the point of nausea.
Either that, or tapeworm.

I'm such a procrastinator sometimes I check my own blog for new posts.
Maybe if people commented it wouldn't be so one-sided.
Well there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove, I'm dancing with myself.

"I'm okay with this being casual as long as it's exclusive, you've never cared about anyone more and will feel this way forever."
"How is that casual?"
"We can wear sweatpants."

I'm butter and you're glue and it's pretty clear this is not going to work.

Hey, Daylight Savings-- I'm going to need more than an hour.

I wish I knew what other people were thinking.
Most of the time, it's probably better that I don't.
They're probably thinking stupid things.

Life: I am both a "people person" and someone who just hates everyone.

It depends on...

- how well I know the people
- what they are doing
- how loud they are talking
- how close they are standing to me

Maybe one day procrastination WILL be the best option.
Fingers crossed.

How many times do I have to realize the same things over and over?
And how many times do I have to realize that they're the same things?

I wish anxious stressing burned more calories than it probably does.
Also realized my jaw has been clenched for the last three days.
Deep breaths.

I can't tell if everyone's life is falling apart, or if it just runs in the graduate program.

Sometimes I have a hard time keeping perspective. Is there an app for that?

I wish there were a more effective way of learning things than The Hard Way.

New to-do list, seemingly productive may end up destructive:

- Delete everything in my inbox
- Get rid of all the papers on my desk

Either this will involve sorting and filing
or a small household fire.