You know what is amazing? Skin.
It does some incredible things.
And, without it, we would all look really creepy.

It is wonderful to have friends that love you because then you can pretend that staying at their apartment when you visit is really a gift for them.
And also that they cheer when they hear me wake up.
And feed me baked goods and Dr. Brown's soda.
Does life get better?
Maybe... except not.

My random thoughts flow most freely when I should be doing A THOUSAND other things.
My exaggerations and cliches spread like wildfire. Mixed idioms are my favorite. I mean, I'm not the warmest crayon in the tool shed.
Now I'm really pulling at thin strings.

I wish people would ask me to tell them what I think of them.
Famous last words?

There are lots of things that people need to know but are awkward to say to someone in person. I have always wanted to create an anonymous email account called TheTruth where I can email people the things they should know without being the messenger.

For example:

"You are a wonderful teacher. Seriously, everyone loves you. I want to be you when I grow up."

"Don't give up... he's out there."

"I wouldn't get attached to the Promise Ring since he's has made out with 5 people this week alone."

"Your class is the closest I have ever come to actually banging my head against a wall."

"You look like an idiot. Please stop wearing that."

"You can stop pretending... everyone knows you are full of crap."

"She would take you back if you were less of an ass. And you can't do better than her, so I'd recommend trying that."

My meals on the average day: cereal, sandwich, pasta.

My meals on a Passover day: eggs, matza, eggs.

I may die of a heart attack before we even get out of Egypt.

I am on the wildly popular pre-Passover all-carb diet. Sprinkle more bread crumbs on my pasta please.

The best part of a relationship is at the beginning, before the other person ruins it by being someone completely different than you had imagined them.

Inhibition: the cognitive process that prevents me from responding to emails with "You suck."
My draft box is full of what I really think.

PhD students flirt by instructing you in how to do something more correctly.

There is no good way to ask a man if his facial hair is ironic.

I bet one of the most important skills to look for when hiring gym locker room attendants is "can walk without looking at anyone" and "when talking, can look only at people's faces."

Dear Sir,

I find your posturing of friendship disingenuous. Please refrain from contacting me further under false pretense of future plans.

Cordially,
Serena

A sign I may be stressed-- the last few nights my dreams have been:

- Driving a car that's out of control and I have no idea where I'm supposed to be going
- Losing my bloodchecker and having no idea where I am
- Trying to escape while everything is falling down around me and as I am running the ground is melting

My unconscious mind is very subtle.

You know you are in Grad School when... the idea of your date not showing up and instead spending hours waiting in the library sounds like a pretty good idea for productivity.